Even after 10 years of visiting France, I was still ill prepared to spend the better part of 3 weeks in a tiny town of the North called Saint-Omer, about 70kms away from the more well-known city of Lille, part of the Pas-de-Calais region. I strongly felt that I was possibly the only Australian to ever pass through, never mind stay here.
The French are a complicated breed of human. And no, simply knowing “other” Europeans will not fully prepare you to understand these guys. Other English speaking travellers who have also spent a large amount of time in France will attest to this.
Apart from the language barrier and automatically just ‘knowing’ what is masculine and feminine, there is a multitude of little nuances that will go over your head. There is so much that is simply just 'understood' in France. Not explained, not signposted, no instruction. You are just supposed to know. The slightest nod of acknowledgement between the French can mean so many things.
Visits to your local GP for example. There is an unspoken awareness of who’s turn is next. In Australia, we have appointments and they call your name. In France, you are expected to say ‘Bonjour’ to everyone when you enter the waiting room and assume your turn. I asked my french friend “how do you know when it’s your turn?” And he sighed at me (like it was obvious) and said “you just know.” This proved to be true, as the last patient left with a chorusing of “Au Revior” the remaining people would just look to each other, shuffle, and the next person stands up (at random) to go in. No one says a word.
Another more common example of just knowing what to do is when it comes to greeting people. The dilemma of how may kisses, does depend also on what part of France you are from along with whom you are with. Two kisses (one against each cheek) is safe to assume regardless of how often you see a person. Guys who are close friends however, are able to simply slap hands in their own bro-code amongst each other. But again, never in a crowd of people, only when it’s just them. If not, then some form of kiss is expected. Confusing.
Then, there is eating. As an Aussie, we normally eat diner between 6-8pm on a typical weekday evening. Forget about this in Europe. In France, you better have a snack at 5 as you won’t be eating until after 9pm and rarely in bed before midnight. On weekends if you’re socialising, it’s common to sit and smoke with a glass of wine until 4 in the morning. You may go out, sure, but a lot of French people prefer to ‘make the party’ at home or a friends house. Things are much more, shall we say, intimate.
I could write a book about all the fascinating little differences I have noticed over the years, many already have. Regardless, there is a reason why the french have an age old reputation for being mysterious enigmas. It’s because they don’t apologise for who they are, nor find it necessary to explain. And for that, I will always be in love with the magic of not fully understanding everything in France. I used to want to know, now I just smile, shake my head and accept the beauty of our differences.
What nationality or country of the world are you forever fascinated by?
