I want to take a moment to talk about something that we as a society think we are totally cool with, but in reality, we're not. I wrote an article a few years ago on 'great wedding expectations' around what is expected these days; (https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/lauren-baldwin/great-wedding-expectation_b_8925552.html) And I wanted to talk about the even bigger question than the proverbial 'Will you marry me?'
I'm referring to the baby question.
Almost any woman will know the line of inquiry I am referring to, however as a 35 year old this question starts to become phrased....differently. The conversation of kids is one I don't mind having, certainly many of my girlfriends have several children of their own already. What I do mind, however, is the walking on egg-shells tentativeness when asking if that's something I would 'still' like to do. (As in, I should have done so by now).
First of all. We know . Ladies and gents, any female my age knows that her biological clock is ticking, its science. We don't like to be reminded of it, and speaking for myself, I definitley don't need the pity party.
Did anyone stop to think for a moment that maybe this is an active choice? Perhaps if she's 35 and hasn't had kids by now, maybe she just doesn't want them? Plain and simple?
Now don't get me wrong, it's not like people can't ask about you, your future, and your plans. This isn't about being overly sensitive, in fact, I struggle with those types. I just cringe at the age old responses society continues to throw my way of 'Oh you'll change your mind' or 'But you'd make a great mum' or 'When the right guy comes along that will change everything'.
Uh yeah. No. What if we just prefer not to? Period? (Note; that should read - Period. No question mark).
Women these days are working longer, harder and smarter and not everyone wants to have children. From financial to emotional, medical or even environmental reasons, she and/or her partner have decided not to go down that path. These are well educated women, who have carefully considered this topic pretty much since birth and have by now formed a well rounded opinion on what best suits their life goals and what is important to them.
So all I'm saying is the next time you ask a woman whether or not she has any kids, just be satisfied with their "No." They don't need to justify why this is to you. Whether it's a personal choice or simply out of their control, just smile and say "Okay."
The end. Next topic.
